Today started out as a fat&ugly day. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has these days. You know what they're like. You wake up tired, you look in the mirror and know that no amount of makeup will cover the circles, bags, and zits. Your hair won't behave and no amount of product will help. Then I had to go to church and work in the nursery, with no help. I'm telling you, working with the kids is great but without another person in there, it get's a bit overwhelming. And to top it off, I've been eating like poop and when I do that, I feel like poop too. I haven't run in forever and I'm feeling it. If I don't run regularly I get super stressed out. Put that stress on top of the stress of the husband being out of work and my hours getting cut back Jan. 7 when I start Winter quarter classes. I'm so depressed. I'm not a big fan of medications for depression, but right now I'd love to be on a maintenance dose of Prozac. So my husband made me a salad for lunch. It's a start. I'll run later today when I feel like caring.

On a lighter note, I had a chance to view the videos I rented from SmartFlix. I rented the Beginning and Advanced Spinning Techniques videos. The beginning one was good. I learned a couple things but nothing that I couldn't learn by googling. I expected the advanced to be really great, but it was dissappointing. I was hoping to learn new drafting techniques but the only techniques reviewed were short draw and long draw (or double draft). The double draft tech was reviewed pretty well, but it was in the beginning video too so I was overall dissappointed. I'm really glad I was able to rent these before putting down forty dollars each to order them from Yarn Barn. I might still order the beginners video but I doubt it. What I'm interested in learning in Navajo plying and several new drafting techniques. I'm going to be ordering my kit from Philosophers wool soon to make my Color Your Own in the Fire colorway (with yellow). I'm going to be casting on for the smallest size because that is one of my new knitting resolutions. I will only knit garments for myself in the size for my ideal healthy weight. Not being able to wear all my pretty things will be my punishment for eating junk and not working out.

My folks are coming down today so I will finally get to see what ring they got me, and give my mom her Celtic Tote. My son is slowly but surely mastering the RipStik(of death) and is under strict orders not to ride without helmet, wrist guards, knee & elbow pads. Malachi is very much in love with his guitar and well on his way to rockstardom. Life in the Sprauer household is chaotic as usual. Life is good.

RipStik of Death and a Christmas wish.

I've got all the pieces of Mom's Celtic Tote knitted, blocked, and drying as I type this. I'm all set to wrap Malachi's first real guitar and Noah's RipStik (of Death). I was hoping for really bad weather so that Noah couldn't try out said RipStik (of Death) but it's actually supposed to be almost fifty degrees and sunny. For goodness sakes it's OHIO! Why is it almost fifty degrees on Christmas Day?!? Good thing this kid of mine can rip it up on a board (no pun intended). What am I getting for Christmas? I have no idea. My dog was an early present from my folks but they still feel the need to get us each a couple of gifts. Mine is a ring of some kind. I only know b/c mom measured my finger with string and then took it with her. She and Dad ordered it from somewhere. I'm not sure what kind of ring but I have my suspicions. It's either the Claddagh I've been asking for (from everyone for any occasion that involves gift exchanging) or it's a mother's ring, or it's just a sapphire ring of some kind. I want a sapphire b/c it's Malachi's birthstone and I already have an amethyst for Noah's birthstone. I'm rambling. My folks have the flu so they won't actually be here tomorrow, but they'll be here in spirit. I'll see them next weekend. I recently asked my kids what Christmas was about and here's what they told me:
"Love, Family, and God." Yep. That's right. I may not be the world's best mom, but I'm raising these kids to know what's really important. Not presents, not offending people with my saying "Merry Christmas" instead of "Happy Holidays" (which incidentally if Merry Christmas offends you, get over yourself), not outdoing the neighbors with decorations, not having a super clean house or the most fantastic Christmas spread, not any of those things. Christmas is about love, family, and God. Note that I said Christmas. Not Kwanzaa, not Hanukkah, not the Solstice Celebration. I don't know anything about those Holidays so I can't honestly say what they are about (ok, I used to know about the Solstice Celebration, but honestly that was so long ago I may as well not know anything.) I know what my holiday is about. I know Jesus wasn't born in December, and that the celebration of Christ's Mass is richly symbolic and full of tradition which is not based solely on facts. I know that many of our traditions and symbolism originated in the pre-christian pagan tribes and were trans mutated into christian traditions. You see, that's what people do. Tradition is a very important part of what makes a people. It needs to be maintained even when the people as a whole become enlightened by the birth of the son of God. We know that there is no Santa Claus, but we honor the spirit of Saint Nick b/c he represents an important element of the Christmas season, the spirit of giving and love. Of course Jesus is the ultimate representation of this. Why does it irritate people so much to hear "Merry Christmas"? Can I remind everyone that, like it or not, this country was founded by Christians with Christian beliefs? Freedom of religion means freedom to celebrate as well. I don't appreciate people like Sage Turtle of the Quirky Nomads podcast posting an episode called "F*** Christmas" like she did last year at this time. I didn't say anything mean about it or get nasty in return, afterall she did follow my all time fav suggestion of, " If you don't like the country so much, move out." What I did do was just delete her podcast from the iTunes account. What I can't understand is why someone (who pretends to be superior to those of us so narrow-minded as to believe in Christ and send our kids to public school) can't just take the high road and leave well enough alone instead of resorting to obscenity to purposefully offend other people. I actually feel sorry for her. I don't know who hurt her, but I wish I could make it better for her. I wish I could make it better for everyone who was ever hurt or offended by me or any christian. I wish Christmas could be as wonderful a time of year for everyone else as it is for me. I am extremely blessed and believe me I know it. I pray that kind of blessing would be bestowed on more people. Merry Christmas cyberland, Merry Christmas. (Oh, and Happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and Solstice if those are your Holidays.) May your days be blessed.

Merry Christmas indeed.

I've finished the front and back of mom's Celtic Tote. Now I need to do the sides/back and then sew it up. The pattern calls for plastic mesh to stiffen the bottom so I decided to buy purple mesh. The DH did in fact get laid off today, and with no Christmas bonus either. Bastards. I swear, what kind of boss lays someone off right before Christmas?! And this boss is a practicing pastor! If I didn't know so many good christians in my own church who make up for this guys "professed" but not "practiced" christianity, I would be completely turned off to christians too. It wasn't that long ago that people like him are what justified my belief that all christians are hippocritical, holier-than-thou, bigots. Thank God I was led to a church filled with "real" christians. Folks who weren't ashamed to share their sordid past and forgive you for yours. Folks who show love and compassion to anyone who enters into their presence, not just the pretty people. People in town call my church "The Fringe church" and say that "AHOP is the place to worship if they won't let you in the doors anywhere else." Well, HALLELUJAH for that! (Btw, AHOP stands for A House Of Prayer, not a house of pancakes.) Well, back to the knitting.

I'm so tired. You know that kind of tired when you understand the Cymbalta commercials? It's been a rough couple of weeks and this week isn't even over yet. I was down with a nasty stomach bug last week and had to go my company's Christmas party alone and hoping that I didn't get hit with another wave of illness while I was there, b/c there was no way I would be able to get the pantyhose off in time! I finished my brothers Christmas sweater and am busy working (ok not right now) on mom's Celtic Tote. I got some not so great news today. The DH is getting laid off this Friday. His boss doesn't want to, and if a job comes in between now and Friday he won't be, but that is the nature of construction and with my DH's felony record that's pretty much all he has open to him. I still haven't heard from any of the resume's I've put in other than the jerks who rejected me based on me not turning in notice (I actually did, but since I did not keep a copy for proof all they have is my managers word and let's just say she and I did not see eye to eye.) when I left a job TEN years ago. Other than them, no word. I'm really feeling the strain and I'm getting pretty downtroddened. Pray for me if you can. I need some heavenly intervention here. Chris just told me today that if I don't get into the nursing program this time, he wants me to choose a path to finish my bachelors and apply straight to medical school. That's saying a lot coming from him, but he knows how heavy my heart is right now b/c his is right down there with it.

I have a lot of vices that I don't talk about. It's not fun to admit that you are not a fun, witty, perfect person who obeys the Lord and should be in everyone's top ten speed dial numbers and on everyone's invite list. I am none of the above. I am greedy, selfish, self-centered and obstinate. I don't tithe, I'm a glutton, and I'm prideful. I am also very weak. I'm lonely and don't feel like I have anyone I can really talk to. I've lost my best-friend, but that has been a long time in the making. People change and we grew apart. I have a few friends but none that I hang out with regularly either because all they want to do is party (and I already don't have any money) or because we used to be close but have also grown apart and only talk every once in awhile. My husband loves me, but it's not the same. I have never been satisfied whenever I've talked with him about something that was bothering me, something that the Lord put on my heart, or even a dream I have of doing something. I play like I don't care about it. I put on the show that I'm too hard-hearted to care what anyone thinks of me, but we all know that nobody is truly that way. We all want to be loved and surrounded by tons of friends to hang out with and talk to. I'm too insecure about myself to make any friends. I always feel like people are judging me by my looks, my weight, etc. I don't feel like I'm smart enough, or funny enough, or entertaining enough, so I'll just lie to look that way and then people don't like me for who I really am and that enforces my belief that I'm not good enough being just plain me. I've been worried for quite sometime now about how I would be able to continue to pay the bills(and Me) when school starts back in January. My hours will be cut back a lot due to my school schedule and I've put in several applications at surrounding hospitals, only to be ignored or rejected. Now today the Lord spoke to my heart about my tithing, or lack thereof. It's a well known biblical fact that the Lord expects his children to give him ten percent of whatever they earn. Before taxes, before deductions, before any bills are paid, we are to pay Him first. I know this and I have flatly refused to do it. I've justified this with telling myself that I have so little already, the Lord understands that if I give anymore, I will not be able to survive. This is, of course, bullshit. I know it and I keep telling it to myself to justify my greed. My need to buy yarn, and books, and magazines, and go out to dinner, and whatever else just to make me feel better. I keep saying "I'll tithe when I'm making a lot of money and can afford it." Well, if you're familiar with the Bible, then you'll already know what I'm about to say. The Bible (and therefore God) says that if we don't tithe, we will not receive our riches. I know this. I've known it my whole life. What I don't know is why I refuse to believe it and put it into practice. I'm scared that it won't be true. I'm scared that I'll never be able to buy stuff for myself, always have to live with just enough money to pay the bills and tithe and that's it. I'm scared that the Bible (and therefore God) is not telling me the truth and that my needs won't be met. I'm also not a cheerful giver. I don't want to give God my money. (His money) I want to keep the meager amount I have and spend it on myself. In short, I want to do things my way instead of His way. He told me today that it was time to really start doing things His way or I would get no further. I cannot describe how upset I am with this. I can't buy new yarn. I can't listen to podcasts that talk about yarn shops and new places to buy yarn because I'll be tempted, I can't go out and buy, buy, buy. I am beyond nervous about how this will turn out but I can't live with the guilt anymore. I can't look at my phone and not see people calling me for an interview and then go home and face my children knowing that if only I was obedient, they would be living in abundance instead of relying on my earthly parents for all they have. I don't know if being obedient will give me a new job that will supply my need and leave plenty for God and more. I don't know if I will ever be a nurse or a doctor. If I will ever move to Wyoming or Montana like I dream of doing, if I will ever learn how to ride a horse and then have some horses of my own on my own ranch. I don't know if one day I will be able to have a subscription to every knitting/spinning/horse magazine that I love and be able to see a project/item that I want and just go online and order it. I don't know if I will even be able to get into Wright State's Nursing program for this Spring. What I do know is that I will be knitting a lot of socks for awhile(because that's the yarn I have stashed right now), and that I will be doing some spinning, and that I will be doing most of my fitness research online and will have to start tracking my food intake online as well because all these little excesses will have to stop until I start to do what is right. In addition to not tithing, I'm a serious glutton. I weigh almost 270 lbs. I'm 5'5" tall and I'm 27 years old. I am an emotional eater and though I really want to be 115 lbs, run a marathon to raise money to fight cancer, and compete in figure competitions (and maybe even place), I continue to eat, to not workout, and to wallow in self-pity about how ugly and fat I am. Last night my husband said,"Tomorrow is Sunday, a day for new beginnings." He is right. I'm not sure if I will be sucessful. I know that the enemy will try his hardest to defeat me, to keep me in my former habits and prevent me from receiving what God wants to give me. It will be very hard for me. I pray that God will work on my heart and that over time, getting healthy and giving to Him will become easy, even joyful and delightful. It is neither of those right now, but I am hoping the Lord will be with me and maybe even see fit to bless me. I have decided to start keeping a journal of my journey and my struggles. I will first outline a plan and then keep the journal with me always so that maybe when I am tempted it will help dissuade me. I've decided to keep a Bible with me always as well, and to also keep a book listing verses to read regarding different areas of temptation. Once again, I don't know if I will be successful. Because of who I am, it it very likely that I will fail. It is likely that in order to succeed, I will need a miracle.

Alas poor Stone Sweater, I Knit you well

My husband shrunk Noah's Stone Sweater. A moment of silence please.( ). Ok. To play devil's advocate, all the sweater's I've made for the kids thus far have been machine washable. He didn't realize(even though I went ON and ON about how much I loved finally being able to afford to knit a sweater out of 100% Wool) that it would shrink. His rebuttle?, " I didn't put it in the dryer!" I know it's impractical to knit a child a sweater that must be handwashed, but I didn't mind washing it myself. I've included instructions with both sweaters I knit for my niece and nephew on how to handwash the sweater, with a note to just bring it to me for cleaning if my sisters-in-law don't want to go through the hassle themselves. Can't the kids have one or two really nice sweaters?? The worst part is that Noah took great care with that sweater b/c he listened to mommy tell him all about how you don't need to wash wool a lot, unless you get somethink on it, but that you don't want to get it very wet and rub it b/c it will shrink. He really loved that sweater and it broke his heart when he saw what had happened. It now fits the four year old, though it is a bit thicker and fuzzier now thanks to the fulling of the washing machine. The husband has promised to never wash another think I've knit unless he's checked with me first to see that it is ok. (You'd think he'd have learned the first time when he shrunk my merino socks, but we'll see if it sticks this time. ; P )
I've finished the front of Sean's Garter Stitch Aran Pullover and it's looking just fabulous. The back is coasting along nicely and should be finished by tomorrow evening. I'm expecting to be finishing it Saturday next. If I get ahead, I'll cast on for mom's Celtic Tote from Knits Winter 2007 issue. She wants it in purple with black accents so I found the perfect shade of Cascade 220 and a beautiful little silver celtic button to finish it off. Well, it's time to knit so off I go!

A Stripper? Seriously.

I love it when the people you are knitting for get excited about what you're knitting for them. My big brother came down this weekend for Thanksgiving dinner (I know! I was suprised too!) and I took measurements for his sweater (oddly enough, his measurements actually mesh right up with the size I'm knitting, no adjusting necessary) and I showed him the sweater so far. He really likes it. "It's just what I wanted," he told me. And mom has requested the Celtic Tote from the latest Knits, but in purple and black. So I picked out a gorgeous shade of purple in Cascade 220 and a beautiful celtic knot button. She's so excited she even told me that if I don't have it done by Christmas, she'll finish it herself. No way. I'm making this purse and both it and the sweater will be done on time. I'm getting close to the neckline shaping on the front on Seans sweater and then I'll finish the back, three needle bind them off and knit the sleeves from the armholes. I decided that a regular drop-shoulder would look just as nice as the modified drop-shoulder that the pattern calls for. It's only a two-stitch decrease for the modified so screw it. The smell of Kookaburra in the air as the socks wash and the feel of Peruvian Highland wool sliding through my fingers, aaaaahhhhh, life is good.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Ah yes, as I write my husbsand is eagerly beginning the ritual of the Thanksgiving day feast. The man was up a six o'clock getting things ready to cook. You have to understand my husbands excitement. In the nine years we've been together, we have never had a Thanksgiving to ourselves. Usually we spend it with his family or mine. This year my family can't make it until this weekend and so it's just us and he even ignored repeated calls from his mother (trying to give a guilt trip. I swear that woman is a nightmare!) The level of excitement my darling is exuding is tantamount to a six year old finding a new bike on Christmas morn. I know people think it's strange that being raised by a mom who cooks like Julia Child, that I don't. I actually do cook, and I'm quite a good cook at that, but I don't enjoy it quite like my husband. I enjoy trying out new recipes and when I'm in the mood to cook he let's me, but he's a back seat chef and he's always cooking over my shoulder so it gets annoying. So today I will knit and spin instead. I'm one and a half inches short of dividing for the front and back on my brothers sweater and I plan on making that plus get some of one side done today. I finished my first attempt at a 3-ply yarn last night.

It's a small skein of BFL, about 25-30 gms. I washed it and it's currently drying in the loo. When it's done I'll see what it's WPI are but I'm guesstimating it's a worsted/aran weight b/c that's what I'm aiming for. The ultimate goal of this experiment is a handspun & handknit gansey for my pops. I'm planning on making it out of Shetland wool. What I really want is to get a good fleece, wash/comb/card and spin it, then knit it for dad. It will probably be the only time I do it like that but I just really want to. I'll knit it from my own design too! Man I'm excited about this! I've started scoping around for a fleece and some handcards/combs. What fun!

Oops...There's a Wall There....

So much for the family coming down this weekend. The brother is being...well....himself. And my mom is at home with a sick puppy. Dutchess, their cockerspaniel, is really not doing well. Poor puppygirl. = ( But, they will be making the trip next weekend, with the exception (probably) of my darling brother. Ya know, he's really lucky I love him. (jerk) My dad made it but he had no choice, he's teaching scuba diving all weekend. Still, I'm glad to see him. I love my Pops, despite the fact that he still treats me like I'm one of his troops. I'm nearly thirty years old and I still stand at attention when he calls me, go figure it must be Pavolovian. He talked me into running tonight and I needed that. He was my first running coach and he's still my best running coach. I had a really nice run and it made me feel better about messing up and eating three donettes. (Even though they equal about 1/2 of a full size doughnut and I've been good all day.) Well, I'm rambling so I'll sign off now.

Doing a Jig, Just for the Hell of It.

I took my Forensic Psychology final this mornin and I rocked it! IT'S OVER! (yes I mean to be shouting, I'm really flippin excited!) I got an "A" on the Physiology Final and that gives me an "A" in the class. Still waiting on the final grade from my Computer Software class, but overall I am one extremely excited girl. AND....... I've lost nine pounds! WooHoo!. Now that school is over I can revamp my running schedule and get back on track before next quarter begins so this weight gain thing doesn't happen again (gotta keep it moving in it's current direction). Back to the Christmas knitting! I'll post pics soon of my progress on Sean's Christmas sweater. He'll be down this weekend for Thanksgiving with my folks (we're doing it early d/t work schedule obligations) so I'll get the final measurements and maybe some pics of my darling big brother too! He's too cute not to show off. I'm also finishing up the first of my Firestarter socks, which I may have to frog and reknit if the sizing is off (the foot looks kinda long, but if it's not too long, I'll wear it as is.)

Brain Hurts, Send Wool Please.

Having spent the last week studying for my Physiology and Biophysics final exam, and pretty much ignoring everything and everyone else in the process, I am very pleased to announce that it is finally over. For better or worse, which I will discover tomorrow, I am done with my most difficult subject until January 7, 2008. Can I get an AMEN! I do have one more test to take on Friday but it's in Forensic Psychology and that subject is so fascinating that it just sticks in my head. Physiology is fascinating too, mind, but there is SO much to remember that it takes much more brain capacity. Wish me luck!

Tired doesn't even begin to describe it. I'm so beyond tired I don't believe there is actually a word left to describe it. This quarter is finally coming to a close and I am looking forward to a break. I've made the final decision to find a new position and leave my current employer. I'm a little disappointed b/c I started applying two weeks ago and haven't heard anything yet from any of the companies except that one listed me as disqualified for a position even though there is no reason for me to be disqualified. I'm beginning to get discouraged. I'd like to start this new position before next quarter. I've been praying and I know that it it's not in God's will it won't happen but I'm hoping he'll will it.

When I first made Noah his Stone's Sweater from the Natural Knitter, it was the end of May and too hot to wear it. Now, to say the least, it is no longer too hot. I let Noah put it on for school last Friday and he hasn't taken it off for more than an hour since (barring time sleeping and showering). He adores it. I've even caught him sniffing it, though I think he picked up this little habit from watching me stop to sniff while I was knitting it. He wore it to church yesterday and just felt the need to tell everyone that his mom made his new sweater and wasn't it the awesomest sweater ever?! Now THAT is satisfaction. I love my kids. I love knitting for my kids. I really love my kids loving that I knit for them. It makes all this mind-numbing schoolwork worth the effort just to be able to buy premium quality yarn to make them the most awesome sweaters/hats/gloves/socks ever. I know not everyone thinks making a sweater for an eight year old out of merino wool is smart, but I really don't care. I love making it and they love wearing it. I have a good supply of wool wash.

So far, so good. School is going super this quarter and I've begun to search for a new position. I'll need one soon b/c I no longer have control over my school schedule anymore. Wright State has me at their mercy until they hand me over my degree. Oh well. I've also lost seven pounds and life is good.

I'm probably going to avoid the computer all weekend. I have another Physiology and Biophysics exam next week and since I barely made an "A" on the last one I realize I'll need to devote a little more time to my studies to keep on top of the information. It's 4.0 or bust this quarter. I will not be denied. Plus, with the knitting needing some quality time, there just isn't enough time for too much dallying on the net.

It was a sign I tell ya, a sign!

There was a thick fog over the land as I made my way to university this morning. It lay over the crops like a quilt and snaked through the hills and over the lakes like a ghost. It was perhaps one of the most beautiful sights I've beheld in a long time. A sunrise/set never fails to put me in awe, but folks underestimate the awe-value of a morning mist. Perhaps it is only because it reminds me so much of where I intend to retreat permanently. It seemed to me, on a morning where I was searching for a reason to keep the car on it's path to school, to be a gift of foresight. It said simply, "Keep hanging in there, hit the books, make the grade, and this is what you can have. A life of simplicity doing what you love, where you love, with those you love most alongside you." I needed that gift ever so much now that I've come to quite literally despise my job and all that it encompasses. It's not the field I despise. I could never not love medicine. Just my current job, my co-workers, hell, even my patients are forcing my....uh..patience? I thank God for those moments in time in which he shows me an ever so small glimpse of his plan and gives me just enough light for the step I am on plus a touch or so toward the end of the path.

Like stubbing your toe, only not as much fun.

My brain is fried! Omg,I thought I knew all there was to know about Excel. To put it mildly, I don't. I've spent the last three hours working on two assignments that kicked my pretty, round arse! Oh well, at least the husband will have an excuse to rub it! ; P

Screw it for Today

That's right, I said screw it for today. I stayed up to an unGodly hour last night studying for a Forensic psych exam and I am too tired to worry about what I'm putting in my mouth. When I'm this exhausted the phrase, "healthy eating" has no place in my working vocabulary. Tomorrow I will pay for today's indiscretion but that is tomorrow and right now all I want is chocolate and my knitting.

First test of the quarter is over, yay! It took me an hour and ten minutes to complete it but I feel that I did well. I bet I get an "A". I know I missed the next to last question b/c I ping-ponged back and forth about it for ten minutes. In the end I chose false and when I double checked the answer was true. Oh well. Can't win'em all! Garter Stitch Aran Pullover is coming along nicely. It should be done in plenty of time for Christmas (only 88 shopping days left!). I figure I'll focus more on getting it done since it works up faster than the Celtic Icon Hoodie and then when I'm in the mood, I'll work on the hoodie. Since the hoodie will now be staying with me, I'll need to slim down in order to wear it and even though I adore the design, sewing up all those pieces and adding a zipper aren't exactly my idea of a good time. I've never added a zipper before. Come to think of it, I've only done sewing up on about two items. I'm more of an EZ knitter and I stick to the round (honestly, I believe circular came before straight). I have no qualms about doing it straight, it just takes longer and I'm usually pressed for time so I prefer minimal finishing. For something as cool as the Icon Hoodie though, I'm willing to take the time and do the work.

Update

Let's see if I can get through this week without falling and breaking my hand. I have a huge test on Wednesday in Physiology so I've been studying like it's going out of style. I guess when I think about it, God planned for me to fall so that it would hurt too much to knit for longer than fifteen minutes at a time. It makes it much easier to choose to study. Also, I've taken a break from the Celtic Icon Hoodie since it'll probably be staying with me instead of becoming a Christmas present (long story don't ask) and I haven't lost enough weight to fit it comfortably yet. Also, I've started on my brother's Garter Stitch Aran Pullover from Tara Jon Mannings' Men In Knits and since I converted it to the round, it's going a lot faster and it's more satisfying at this point.

Today I'm Just Pissed Off

Tell me why a school library would charge a college student $125 each for two books that cost lest than $30 dollars each? And they won't let me just turn them back in and pay the fines. I just don't get that. But this week has been a nightmare anyway so it would just figure that this would happen. I know that this too will pass because I have faith that God is with me and walking with me in this. I know that what I need to do is pray and it will come to pass. It just sucks. Thank God my hand is healing fast and soon I will be back up to full-fledge knitting. I'm sad that my Celtic Icon Hoodie will be staying with me instead of going to it's intended owner, but that was a decision that she made herself. My husband is a felon and her boyfriend is a cop who doesn't want to hang out with a felon and his wife. She said she told him she was still going to hang out with me but let's face it, she's suceptible to his will. Like I said, this week has just sucked. Next week will be better.

Christmas Knitting

Well, so far I've finished two of the four sweaters on my Christmas knitting list. My nephew's and my niece's are both done. I posted pics of them on my MySpace. I'm very pleased with how they turned out. I also finished spinning and plying the Lisa Souza roving into sock yarn. It turned out lovely (even if I said so myself which I don't, every knitter/spinner I've shown it too has said so.) Now I have to hurry up and finish the second Sweetpea sock so I can start knitting socks from it. Katie's Celtic Icon Hoodie is coming along nicely but within the first seven lines I found two mistakes in the pattern. Now I have to check the Errata to see if there are anymore mistakes. Oh well. It's going to be a great sweater though. People keep asking me how I can stand to knit sweaters in the heat and it just boggles my mind....... I don't knit outside people. And quite frankly, because my husband works outside, our house is kept so very cold that a wool or alpaca sweater on my lap is very comfortable. Maybe I just have my knitting priorities backward but I base my projects on: 1) How much time I have to devote to them in relation to when they need to be done (if for a gift) and, 2) Whether or not school is in session. Example; right now I have loads of time to knit because school is not in session and therefore I can do larger projects like sweaters. Once school starts in September I will not have the time to devote to larger projects and my projects will also need to be easily taken from class to class. This is my time to knit Christmas sweaters so I can get as much done as humanly possible. Once school starts, so will my prime sock knitting season. Socks are perfect for me when I need a full project to satisfy me and I don't have a lot of time to devote. And they carry like a dream. Well, enough for now.

Okay, so it's been a very busy last two weeks. After getting the notice from WSU that I will not be joining the Nursing program this quarter, I met with CQ, my advisor and she and I worked out a plan. I'll be taking some more of my Nursing required classes and boosting up my GPA so that when I apply again in the winter they will have no choice but to grant me access based on my sterlingness. This mean really boosting the Christmas knitting over the next month b/c come school term Sept 4., I won't be able to knit as much. I'll need to focus on my classes. I love knitting and I love my family and want to bless them with lovely hand-knitted gifts but at the same time, I don't support my family by knitting and I've got a career ahead of me that will allow me to buy LOTs and LOTs of fabulous yarns for fabulous projects and LOTs and LOTs of fabulous fiber to spin and even allow me to purchase that Golding wheel I dream of owning, .....but I've got to get through school first and so I'm taking David Reidy's advice and letting the knitting time find me after the priorities have been met. Thanks David! There's always Christmas break to knit and, well, there's always next year!

Go Big or Stay Home

Has it really been almost three weeks since I posted? Wow. Well, I finished my nephew's Christmas sweater and I'll be posting pictures soon. I had perfect photographing weather on Saturday but alas, I was finishing the sweater that night. We haven't had good photo shoot weather since. It's been gray and yucky. But the sweater looks great if I do say so myself (why not, everyone else I've shown it too says it.) I've now started on my nieces Christmas sweater. It's from the same Cabin Fever book but it's the Twisted Cables Pullover. I'm using Alpaca With A Twist Baby Twist in Orchid. It's the first time I've knit with alpaca. I've got plenty of alpaca fiber to fondle and a couple skeins of Garnstudio alpaca, but I've not knit with it yet. I know they say you shouldn't make sweaters out of alpaca b/c they 'grow' d/t lack of elasticity and that it's too hot for a sweater but quite frankly, the kid never remembers to wear a jacket outside when it's cold so she needs all the help she can get, and also this pattern looks like it will hold pretty well as a sweater with all the twisting involved. We'll see. If nothing else, it is heavenly to knit and I'm enjoying myself. I just hope my sisters - in - law don't mind too much when I tell them to bring the sweaters to me to clean. God forbid I leave it to them. Aside from the kids sweaters I, of course, have socks OTNs. Sweetpeas from this months Knitty, with only a couple modifications. I omitted the ruffled cast-on and just did a plain k2p2 and I'm knitting with zeros so I upped the stitch count by another twenty. The yarn is Schaeffer Anne in a gorgeous blues and greens colorway that I was originally going to make Pomatomas' with but after working the Pomatomas almost halfway down the foot I decided that I really didn't like the socks so I frogged them and saved the yarn for a better pattern. I found the Sweetpeas the next day. I'm doing well on my Christmas(or so) knitting.The kids will have theirs and Katie will have hers. I'm hoping to get my brother's done as well but it may take a little longer than I have available. My brother wants a gansey or a fisherman but I have to find just the right pattern for him. I'll probably end up designing it myself. For my dad, his sweater will be a Christmas/birthday present b/c I hope to have it done by the end of March when he can still wear it. See, my dad's project is special. I'm going to spin the yarn from roving and then knit a sweater I design myself just for him. I'm excited but it's a little daunting. If I buy the roving now, I can work on the spinning during my regularly scheduled spinning time. Then just as soon as my brother's sweater is done I can finish up the spinning if there's any left to do and start the knitting. On a different note, I'm still waiting to hear if I start my nursing classes this term or if I have to wait. If I start this term it's my goal to have a new job in the next month. If I don't start classes this term, it's my goal to have a new job in the next month or two. Either way, I plan to have a new job by Ocotober. I'm feeling pretty puny today, I even went home from work early, so I'm gonna leave off here. But I'll be back in a couple of days with pictures of the nephew sweater, the Sweetpea socks in progress, and the Twisted Cables sweater in progress. As well as pictures of my Dutchess when she comes to visit over the next week.

There are some days in this life of mine that are just going to suck. Today was one of them. Now, yesterday was a bad day. I woke up with a headache and it steadily got worse as the day went on. It took two ibuprofen and two cups of Tension Tamer to even take the edge off. That was nothing compared to today. I pretty much spent all of today sniffling and crying quietly while going about my daily routine at the demonic playground I call my office. So far it's taken an hour of sock knitting on my lunch and an hour of hear and there hand spindling some merino/tencel to start to make me feel human again instead of like this dark creature with leathery black wings and snakes for hair. I'm not kidding, that place sucks all that is decent and good out of me. I start the day a happy, life loving gal and end it a monster with no goodness left in me and a desire to harm. Tonight my children and husband are watching the TATU at the air force base. They wanted me to go with them. I wanted to go with them. I just couldn't. I've spent the last hour getting my resume together and emailing people who I'd like to give me a reference should I need one. I have to leave that place. If I don't, there's no telling what will happen. I've been staying there out of loyalty and today that loyalty was betrayed. In a most cowardly and malicious way. I'm not a perfect christian, seriously I'm flying just above the fire, but I know when it's time to pray and that's what I've been doing all day and what I'll continue to do until such time as it is answered. Matthew 21:22 says it for me "And whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive."

My Mother and Me

My relationship with my mother is complicated. My mother is a good person. She's very creative and much what they call a 'free spirit'. But my mother is my mother. And being my mother she has a tendency to piss me off more than anyone else can, with the exception of my husband. We were not very close while I was growing up. I was more of a "daddy's girl" and my brother more of "mom's boy". I've always loved her, that's never been an issue. I was fiercely defensive of her when people just didn't 'get' her or her very independent nature. I just wasn't very close to her. I didn't understand her or why she was the way that she was. I never felt that we had anything in common and that I was more like my dad. Then circumstances changed and I found myself relying on my mom a whole lot. Over the last eight years, I've gotten to know my mother a lot better. Some through actual conversation with her and some through just being a mom myself. You see, I've come to understand that the way she behaved quite often was just her being a mom. Not just my mom but A mom. Sometimes moms just have to be moms. And through talking with my mom I've gotten to know her a little better. But she still does some stuff that just irritates the crap out of me. Like automatically assuming that if I'm talking about something in an excited manner then that means that I'll be persuing it. Take for instance the possibility of my taking horse riding lessons. I was very excited about this possibility and my mom was the first person I called seeing as how a) she's my mom and, b) she used to ride and show. Her response was one of immediate dissaproval. Not of the idea itself, but of the cost given my current financial status. I was in a hurry when I called her and also got a little irritated with her so I had to end the call rather abruptly. She, of course, took this to mean I was furious with her and not going to listen to a word she said. So then I talked with my husband about it. He said that though the money looked like it would be available, it really wouldn't be given other expenses I had neglected to remember. *facepalm* Ok, well so much for THAT idea. No go. Maybe after nursing school? He agreed. But it was too late, mom was already pissed and that meant a long time of her being pissed and many future conversations with it being brought up. Then, the un-returned phone calls, and the side comments from my father about how "you've really pissed off your mom. I don't know what you did, but she's awfully upset about something." I just can't win. She's cool with my knitting as long as I'm not buying yarn. She's cool with my buying random ridiculous stuff for the boys as long as it's not for me. I love my mother. God only knows how much I love my mother. But sometimes I just want to kill her. I know the feeling is mutual and though it hurts me to say it, I'm a lot more like my mother than I will ever be willing to admit.

What does your life say about you?

Have you ever thought about what your life says about you? What do your house, your car, the clothes you wear or the songs you sing say about you? Do you have one face that you show to the world and one that you show when it's only you? Are you afraid to show who you really are? Do you have the 'perfect' job/spouse/look, etc., and yet you still aren't really happy? Why is that? Well, there are many psychological theories that say as human beings we need acceptance from the herd. Those that don't fit in are stigmatized and essentially cut off from the rest. Or.....are they? Is it wrong, or even really that bad to be cut off from a society that doesn't want you if you don't want to be just like everybody else? Since the first tribes roamed our lands there have been 'outsiders'. It's just part of our nature. We get comfortable with a certain way of life and anyone who doesn't fit the mold of that way of life makes us uncomfortable. Take Jesus for example. He made the leaders of Israel very uncomfortable. Here was this guy, claiming to be the son of God, just rocking their world. He hung out with thieves, hooker, and (yikes!) the IRS guys. Oh. No. This guy MUST be bad news. Well. We all know how that turned out in the end. So....maybe being different in actually.......better? Now let's take a look at ourselves. Do you get your kicks out of stigmatizing the outsiders? Are you one of those people who see someone walk through the door and are instantly assessing them head to toe and making mental (and verbal) note of everything wrong with them? Do you wear a cantaloupe colored shirt with teal socks and have the audacity to comment on your co-worker's decision to wear candy-apple red pumps with a dark red shirt? And do you bother to look at yourself before commenting on another person's physique? Are you looking at them with brotherly love and a desire to help or just feeding the demons within? Isn't it easier to talk about someone else than it is to stop and take a good look at oneself? Here's a thought, why don't you find someone you normally wouldn't think you'd be friends with and make it a point to break down the wall between you. Find someone that you may have ostracized in school or someone who maybe wasn't in the honors classes you were in. Find them and change the world before it's too late. Only when we break down the walls that keep us apart can we truly become the people we are meant to be. Take a look at your life and answer me this: What does YOUR life say about you?

Mindbabble

Tomorrow I'll be uploading some of the pictures I scanned in today from my photo portfolio. This thursday after work I'll be doing my orientation at Rosewood to use their darkroom. My plans for my first visit is to enlarge some of the medium format Holga pics I took at Cox Arboretum last summer and also some of the infrared I took the same day. I have some really pretty proofs that are going to make awesome prints. I'm finishing the first sleeve on Noahs sweater tonight and I'm almost to the heel flap on the lime and violet Traveler's. I'm so bored with both of these projects but I'm fighting the Cast-Onitis. I already planning the next sweater I'm doing. It's the Sam's Delight sweater from Cabin Fever. It's for my nephew Jayden. He wants a blue and green sweater which is so perfect for his skin color. He has skin the color of caramel macchiato. I wuv him. He calls me Auntie Bicky. He's only two. Off to the wool!

It's over! Oh. My. God. I thought it was never going to end! I got a "B" on the research paper of doom, an "A" on the final in the the demon's class, I'm probably going to get "B"s in the other two classes too so that'll keep my GPA pretty close to what it currently is and that is good. Now I just need to get my application to the College of Nursing turned in and we are like the crunchwrap supreme... good to go. Oh incidently, I would have gotten a "A" on the research paper but the demon said that since there were no pictures to illustrate the courthouses I was discussing, he didn't feel validated in assigning an "A". Because (and I quote), "If there's anything you should have learned in my class it's that you can't talk about buildings without plenty of photographs." What-ever. Who cares. It's over! To celebrate this momentous occasion I bought three new books: Fitted Knits by Stephanie Japel (you know... Glampyre?), Family Knits by Debbie Bliss (omg I love this book, so many cute patterns!), and Natural Healing by Mark Evans. The one I'm most excited about it Natural Healing. I've always been into essential oils and aromatherapy but this book covers a LOT more. It covers Herbalism, Aromatherapy, Naturopathy, Homeopathy, Bodywork, Eastern approaches and lots more. This is one of the books I would want to have with me if I were ever to be thrust back in time through a circle of stones.(Did I mention btw, that I adore the Outlander series? I AM Claire Fraser!) Another would be my PDR on Herbs and Supplements and also my Essential Oils Handbook. Oh, and my Army Field surgery handbook and a suture set would be nice, ..... and a package of size 10 blades and various sized of catgut, and maybe one of those books about how to be self-sustaining (dude, for twenty bucks you can't NOT have one of these books. There are three different ones at B&N and they all pretty much cover the same stuff. We're talking everything form basic first aid to canning, to building your own home, to growing stuff to you name it , it's in there.) Anyway, I'm pretty pysched about all the time I've got now to knit and spin and, oh yes, LEARN TO RIDE AND TAKE OF HORSES!!!! As if it weren't magical enough (speaking of magic check out the latest issue of Faerie magazine it's got Candice Knight of Blackmore's Night on the cover in deep purple velvet and gorgeous gossamer wings!) I have a patient who is a horse trainer and I've spoken with her many times regarding my desire to learn how to ride and someday soon to purchase my first (of many) horse. We hit it off right from the start with her visit into the office (especially over a long discussion of 'slumber party syndrome' and the intricacies of raising three year old boys, which we both have) and she's never mentioned that she also trains people to ride the horses. That is until today. I was asking her about how much I could expect to pay for first-timer adult lessons and she said between sixty and eighty dollars. I was floored. Sixty to eighty dollars?! A week?! I was so depressed. There is no way on God's green earth that I can afford sixty dollars a week for lessons. Then she hands me her card and smiles, "Come see me. I'll train you and I'll provide all the gear and the horse. But if you continue with it, you'll have to eventually buy your own helmet." I asked how much. Thirty-five dollars. For private lessons! And she'll let me pay bi-weekly for my lessons.(I could pay weekly but I get paid bi-weekly so it's more convenient) She said she could do evening or weekend sessions since it would be just me and I could start whenever I wanted! I have to think about it but I've looked at the budget and with my working full hours again and not having to drive out to school all the time, the money is there for it! And if I go to her barn from either job it's only a fifteen minute drive! Do angels wear chaps and spurs or what! (Sorry Miss Violet, not that you read this, but I've always been a cowgirl, but I love you anyway!) Dude, I could be riding in two and a half weeks! Off to the wool!

Corona, Blood Red Sunsets, and Classical Guitar

Man, if I ever lose my sight the first thing I will do (after panicking) is to crack open a Corona Extra and fire up the iPod and hit my "Guitar" playlist. That's all I need to see the fiery Mexican sunsets streaking across the sky. A little Estaban and Armik and I'm good. And there is absolutely nothing like the sound of Flamenco to bring out the sexy in me. A few chords and I'm there. Dude, where is Antonio Banderas when you need him!

As this quarter comes to an end I am getting giddy with thoughts of all the free time I'll have again to knit and spin and run and read. Omg, I'm so excited. So far it looks like the ole GPA will see no detriment from this quarter although I will have to do a LOT of studying this weekend to make ready for the two tests on tuesday in Micro and Organic Chem and then the ridiculous Architecture class. But it will be so nice once it's all over and I have a nice pretty little GPA to show for it and acceptance into the College of Nursing and Health. Yay! "Alright, back to your knitting. This is going to be awkward enough without all you sots listening in." - a Weasley twin.

Soothing Stockinette

I have to knit a LOT of stockinette on the Stone sweater for Noah. Since it's only a size 8-10 it's not a whole lot of stockinette but it is. And i'm knitting and knitting and not stopping. It's so repetative that it's soothing. I don't know. Sometimes I get bored with it but mostly I just let my thoughts wander. I tend to work on stories in my mind while I'm knitting stockinette. Yet another stupid dream of mine I guess. Everbody's got to have one.
I've mentioned that I taught my crocheting mom how to knit and know she's a knitter who sometimes crochets. She started right out the gates knitting my dad a sweater. My mom has never been one to go gently into that good night. She is now wanting to knit socks b/c she's a big fan of the pairs I've made her. So we got her some pink and white heathered sock yarn, a couple of size 3 circs and we've made it to the first gusset decreases. She'll get this sock thing in no time.

Wild hairs are NOT to be left unattended to.

So last night I was washing the dishes (um, yeah, my dishwasher is my two hands), and I got this wild hair to start knitting Noah a sweater. I'd been planning on designing him one after working the sampler from The Sweater Workshop, but since I haven't had time to read it yet I decided that I could work on a design later and that designing one for Malachi would probably be a better idea seeing as he is smaller. So I remembered a sweater I'd seen in The Natural Knitter called the Stone Sweater and decided to start that one. I even liked the Wedgewood blue it was shown in and Noah had been asking that his next sweater be blue. So I put the next sink full in the hot, soapy water and set off for the only place open at ten o'clock on a Sunday night that carries good wool, Meijer. I bought four skeins of Patons Classic in New Denim. It looks very little like denim and very much like Wedgewood. In fact, it's the exact same shade as the one in the book. So I cast it on. I finished the dishes first though. I made it through the first five rows before realizing that I was eleven stitches short of the 128 I needed to make the 8-10 size. Now I already knit smaller than gauge, and I was counting on this b/c my kid is tall and skinny. I can always lengthen it but honestly, he swims in most stuff. His favorite accesory is belts, otherwise his pants would always be at his ankles. So I was counting on my usual tighter gauge to bring in the width a touch but eleven stitches equals a little over two inches too small and that would be a little too small. So, of course, I ripped it out and cast on again. It was one in the morning before I got back to the same place I'd been when I'd ripped. My hands hurt. My wrists hurt and my contacts were sticking to my eyeballs. I'd spent most of the day working on my Travelers socks (and realizing that the socks are Lime and Violet, how weird is that considering that I'd bought the yarn before I'd started listening to LnV?) Anyways, so now I'm working on the Stone Sweater and here's my current sweater cue in order of when to be knit:

• Noah
• Dad
• Sean
• Jayden
• Shawna
• Kate
• Chris
• Me

Yeah, I'm going to be making sweaters til Christmas, yeowch.

When I first was taught to spin, my spinning instructor, the almighty Arlene of Fiberworks, told me that it would be better for me to spin for just five or ten minutes every day than to spin for two hours once a week. I understood her logic and still do. The problem is that it's much easier for me to carve out an hour or two once a week than five to ten minutes every day. That is, until this semester is over. So tonight I'd had about all the separation from Ashley that I could stand and just had to spin. I pulled Ashley out, pulled out the Mardi Gras from Lisa Souza and set about continuing to fill my first bobbin with what is to be sock yarn. I've found that I have a knack for this spinning fine thang. Oh,wait, that's right, it's probably because I've been practicing. *duh* but in all seriousness, I love that when I test the twist it shows me an almost perfect sock yarn weight which means that it will untwist a little during plying and then fluff up a little during washing into perfect sock yarn! And then I've got lot's more fiber to spin. Some things I do need to remind myself though: when my back is practically spasming from the act of spinning it's time to take a break, walking away from the wheel is sometimes good for our working relationship and our friendship, and always remember to never fear what you have not yet attempted and never regret what you have already accomplished. Life is a journey so take the high road, it's not easy but you'll get where you need to go and the scenery is much better.

It's not the end of the tunnel, but I can see it from here.

The research paper of doom is now happily in the mailbox of my instructor. And I am NEVER going to take a course like this again. Only two more weeks and the whole quarter is over. Thank God!

Randomness

Well, tonight I will be working on the Research paper of doom and so right now I'm getting all the playing around done that I can. I've downloaded some more songs and played with my new myspace page a bit. It's been a relaxing, non-productive day and I'm okay with that. I'm only going to work on the paper a little b/c I have some spinning that I want to get done.
I posted on the LnV message boards about my new Different Kind of Yarn Diet. Instead of preventing myself from buying any more yarn, instead my plan is to reward my weight loss with yarn and projects. I'm making a list of the projects and yarns I want and as I reach specific goals I will purchase those yarns and projects. I plan to accomplish most of my loss over the course of the next year but I plan to squirrel away the money over the summer when my hours are at their highest and so I'll have a little extra to spare. My goal is not so much a certain amount of weight, although I do have an actual goal established, but more a specific body composition. Exercise is a big part of my plan. Well, off to the books.

Whining, and blubbering. Probably ought to turn away now.

Ever have those days when losing all sense of control and committing unspeakable acts of horror upon your co-workers seems like the swell thing to do? Me neither, just checking. But if I was to think about it today would be the day. I can't stand my office. I loathe my job and I despise my co-workers. Honestly if it weren't for the insane amount of loyalty shown to me by my boss, I would have left after the first week. I've been there two and a half years now. You'd think after two and a half years that the vipers I work with would have gotten tired of their insidious games. Nope, not these women. They are still at it. If I talk about school, I'm "pretentious and trying to sound smart/ make them sound stupid" ( like I'm physically forcing their vocal cords to spew out their ridiculousness), and if I mind my own business like I have been for the last month or so then I'm "pretentious, arrogant, and thinks she's too good to talk to us." My boss is so tired of their whining and she knows that it's pushing me to find another position sooner than we'd originally planned. She knows that once I start clinicals that I'll be working somewhere I can get on third shift or second shift. Probably back at one of the area hospitals, but this is making me re-evaluate my decision to wait to the end of summer.
What exactly is SO horrible about me that I can't seem to make friends with a majority of women? I have exactly 5 female friends that can truly be described as friends. I've asked them all and they have no clue. They think I'm an excellent friend. I've asked if I'm too bossy. The unanimous answer is no. Am I too smart? Again, no (but I do tend to use works they aren't accustomed to hearing on a regular basis). Am I ugly? Despite what my online pictures display, I'm actually not bad looking. OK then, what the hell is it? Too needy? Too distant? Too raunchy? Not raunchy enough? Too christian? Not christian enough? Too out-there? What!?!
Yeah, they couldn't help me. My husband says I'm just a "unique" personality. I know I'm stubborn, bull-headed, sarcastic, and some times I do boost my ego by using big words, but I'm also kind, patient, loving, always there to give hugs, and the kind of person who will stop what they're doing to come help you out of a jam. I frequently show my love with hand knitted items and baked goods. I cry all the time (especially around my cycle). I love every kind of creature there is and I try REALLY hard not to judge anyone, even after I get to know them. I adore people more creative than myself (hence my love/stalking of Lime and Violet) and I envy people who can just walk into a room light it up. I'm told that when I'm in a good mood I am super hilarious and I love to make people feel comfortable and welcome around me. I really are about my patients and I get really upset when my co-workers talk bad about them. I get irritated when people around me are judged by someone for the way they look or believe. I would never set myself apart from anyone because our views on politics or religion dissented. Overall I think I'm pretty decent. I know I can be bitchy and I'm sorry but for goodness sake, cut me some slack. I work two jobs and go to school full-time. I don't to see my kids, knit or spin even a tenth as much as I'd like too and all I want to do is my part to heal the wounded both physically and emotionally. Boy, it's a good thing nobody reads this blog because I'm seriously being a whiner. I know, I know, I'll suck it up.

Obligatorty Mindbabble by the Queen of Procrastination

So I skipped my architectural history class tonight in order to prepare for the research paper that I'll be writing over the next week. I was a good girl and went to the library and not the student union. And I got NOTHING done! I have, in true Lime and Violet fashion, named this paper the Research Paper of Dooooom. I have to write a ten page research paper,( not including cover page, pictures, footnotes or bibliography) about the history of Ohio's courthouses. That being said I think all will agree that my teacher is, in fact, one of the lesser demons of hell and out to destroy GPA. This is an ELECTIVE class! It's not required for ANY major! What the !@#$%. Ow, ow, ow, my head hurts.
Moving on, I finished my Jaywalkers in the Interlacements Tiny Toes Carbon Dioxide colorway and they are gorgeous! The pattern is nice but these would have rocked in a plain vanilla sock pattern. I love this yarn. I'll get pictures soon. I was a little dissappointed when I had a little bit of dye come out in the first wash (I did a gentle handwash with Kookaburra), but the color hasn't been too noticably affected. I'm now working on the Traveler's Stockings from Knitting on the Road by Nancy Bush. I'm using Jojoland in a pretty blue/green/purple colorway that I thought wasn't superwash but I found out that the Jojoland Melody colorways with a 'J' in front of the 'Y' of the color are actually superwashes. I'm still only going to handwash all my knitted socks but it's nice to know that if the husband accidentally gets ahold of them, they'll be okay. I've been doing a lot of spinning over the past few days after taking a brief hiatus d/t the folks being in town. I've been spinning the Mardis Gras Superfine/Superwash Merino from Lisa Souza and it's so pretty I can hardly wait to get it all spun and plied up. I'm spinning it pretty thin so it can be sock weight and I must say I'm impressing myself with how consistent it's spinning up, but then again when you start with a fantastic product you tend to get better results. Since I'm restricted from puchasing any new yarn or fiber until after school is out I'm lusting over quite a few now. As soon as I can I'm heading over to Happy Fuzzy Yarn and getting some of their BFL and then popping over to a great little spot called Kendig Cottage. I'm also going to try and score some Lime and Violet stuff if it's not sold out before my embargo is lifted. And as for yarn, Knitting Notions is my first stop. I met the owner at the Upper Valley Fiber Arts Festival two weeks ago and she is the sweetest gal. Catherine Harrison is her name and I would have purchased from her that day except she was the last booth I stopped by and, well, I was broke by then. But she had the PRETTIEST yarn! I asked about her dyeing technique and she gave me a tutorial on space dyeing right there and then! Now that's the kind of person I want to keep in buisness, someone who'd rather pass on the knowledge to keep the art alive rather that miser it away out of greed and fear of competition like some others I've asked about dyeing. So anyway that's about it. I'm doing a little reading now too. I bought the book America Knits awhile back and I'm reading through it one designer at a time. I also got the book The Natural Knitter about the same time and I'm slowly going through that as well. I've been told I should work as a knitting/spinning trendcaster because it seems to those around me in my fiber circles that I'm ahead of my time on picking up the books/yarns/projects that end up becoming popular. I told my mom this and she, of course, balked at the idea. "Medical school is where you're going, not Knitting school." I informed her that I was aware of this and in no way intending on discontinuing my medical studies to pursue a career in fibercasting, but that if I could make some money on the side to help pay for medical school, well, what would be the harm in that? She responded by picking up the sweater she's been knitting for dad and asked,"So, do you think this color was a good choice?"

Is there really anything better?

Every morning my little ones get up early and crawl into bed with me. They snuggle in close and we get to cuddle for about twenty minutes before I have to get up and get going. This is my favorite part of the day, yes I love it even more than knitting or spinning. I could live without my yarn, my needles, my fiber or even a handspindle, but without my babies life just isn't worth it. They really are what life is all about and those who do not hold them to the highest honors don't deserve them. Nuff said.

Brain is Mush, Send Yarn.

Ok.....took my first exam in History of Am.Architecture and now my brain is mush. Actually about halfway through the six short essay questions I had to answer, my brain started to cry and beg for mercy, by the end it was just a wimpering, quivering blob huddled in one corner of my head whispering things about Latrobe's biggest commission being the Capitol building and not "some church." I'm pretty sure it was also mumbling something about the Early Georgian and Federal styles being too similar and that it was a trick question. And now I'm trying to coax it into studying Organic Chemistry for my test tomorrow...... it just yelped and ran away. Damn! I've lost my mind now, now what am I going to do? Maybe a beer, or better yet, I've got Captain Morgans in the fridge. WooHoo! Good times. Oh...I made a mistake in the fiber content of the Rasberry Fudge from this weekend, it's angora not alpaca. I was filing away the receipt this morn and saw it. It's super fun anyways I can't wait to play with it. At the festival I was walking around with it in the booth before I bought it and, naturally, I was petting it. Some lady said I should make it my pet roving. Funny. I laughed so hard I didn't.

Testing

let's give it a try...holy mary it WORKED! I'm ecstatic! Wow, so we're back... at least for now right?
Cool, well for those that haven't made it over to As the Whorl Turns (and cue music) this weekend I went to the Upper Valley Fiber Arts Festival. I scored big. We're talking alpaca/silk/merino/polwarth blend in Rasberry Fudge, pure alpaca in wild colors, baby camel down/tussah silk that looks good enough to eat, and last but not least (since Monday of last week was my b-day and essentially the whole week sucked) an ounce of dove grey cashmere!!!!! .... And then I was promptly overcome with buyers remorse. OH, I also bought an additional bobbin for my Ashford Joy DT ( i only had the three that came with it and I want to try 3-plys) and a one ounce Ashford drop spindle to carry in my knitting bag. So now I'm not allowing myself to purchase any yarn or fiber (at least in very limited ) quantities until after school is out and I'm back to working forty hours b/c right now my budget is really tight and, well, you know what the Harlot says..... you can't eat cashmere!Along with the no-buying, i'm also limiting my knitting and spinning until I can get cought up with the schoolwork. I fell a little behind and now am cramming for two tests this week whilst trying to start churning out the draft on the ten page research paper on Courthouses in Ohio for my History of American Architecture class (I repeat Glenn Harper is a slave driver). And look at me, all excited and I've gone and spent too much time hear when I need to be studying the intricate differences btw Colonial/Georgian/Federal/Greek Revival/Egyptian Revival/Gothic/Victorian Gothic and Italianate Styles of architecture.(whatever)

Blogger help Helped!

Finally figured out what the problem is.... we think. Will experiment more when I get home. Until finished for certain will continue to blog at http://asthewhorlturns.inthesphere.com which is my new blog site that I created prior to Bloggers latest attempt to help. Will probably continue blogging here temporarily until I get the new blog going for awhile and then will phase out Blogger. Sampa is just so much easier to use! If you're interested try it at www.sampa.com

Ok, I was going to post Merino Lace pics but they just aren't clear enough since I reduced the file size so I'm not going to. But they came out perfect. I used CTH Supersock in Martha's Vineyard. I'm almost done with the leg on the first Tofutsies Jaywalker. I've comtemplated a few times frogging it and making them in a better yarn but decided instead that I wouldn't let this beat me so I'm going to make these stinking (literally, what's up with the smell thing anyway?) socks if it kills me. The bonus is they're going really quickly so it shouldn't be too long before they're done and I can move on to more enjoyable socks. I'm thinking of making a pair of Roza's in my Lisa Souza Sock! Merino Joseph's Coat. I'm still waiting for my latest order from Lisa. I ordered almost TWO WEEKS ago and still haven't received an email saying it's on it's way. She let me know almost immediately that she had to do a run of one of the colors I ordered but in the first email she said she would be running it first thing the next week, and when I wrote for an update over a week later she told me the exact same thing. So...... It's two weeks later and here I sit. I ordered three skeins of Sock! and 4oz of Superwash roving. If I don't hear from her in the next day or so, I'm going to cancel my order. I know it sounds cranky of me and she's doing her own dyeing, but I've had a rough couple of weeks and I need pretty yarn to play with, NOW! Every now and then, I'm allowed to be demanding and bitchy for a couple of weeks. It's been about a year since my last pryncess tantrum so I guess I'm due. In all reality I'm not going to cancel the order, but I am going to bitch about it. Oh, speaking of throwing tantrums, my husband went to court this morning with my stepson's mom b/c she's trying to get him held in contempt for failure to pay his support. Now to be honest he only didn't pay for about a year and only b/c his boss gave him crap about doing the paperwork to withhold it from his check AND the mom hasn't let us see him since Malachi was about three months old when our stepson told us some very disturbing things and we had her investigated by childrens' services. She decided to throw a tantrum and has been withholding visitation for nearly three and a half years despite repeated attempts by Chris to get to see his son. Legally she is contempt of the visitation order but we don't have the money to hire a lawyer to go to court on it and she knows it. That, however, worked against her this morning when she went into the courtroom and faced the same judge that ruled on the case originally. Back then he actually told her, " Young lady, you need to grow up." She wasn't to happy to see him again. He asked my husband why he didn't pay his support for that period of time (he's been having taken out for six weeks now) and my husband answered, "Sir, it would probably help my case more to simply answer 'lack of responsibility' but the truth is I haven't been motivated b/c I haven't been allowed to see my son." The judge's whole demeanor changed and he turned to the mom and said," This is ridiculous. I'm not ruling on this today. I want to see you both back in five months and when I see support has been consistently paid for this period of time, I WILL dismiss this case." You should have seen her face! It was priceless! TADOW! I can't wait until I'm a doctor and we take full custody of my stepson. Then we'll move to Wyoming and SHE can see what it's like to not see him. Oh, I'm not going to deny visitation... she'll just have to get her fat butt out to Wy every two weeks and every wednesday night! I love it I love it I love it. .... Man, I'm going straight to hell.

I AM the MFing Pryncess and a review of Tofutsies.

I had my yearly evaluation at work today and my boss nearly had to deflate my head so that I could get out the door after she finished telling me what an asset I am and how she's one of my biggest fans!Then she asked about what upset me last week and I let it all out. I told her about the gossipping about my "mistake", she agreed it was silly and I wasn't in the wrong at all. I also got a couple of other things off my chest that also regarded the same person who was a major instigator in the gossiping buisness and at the end she was laughing but then she sighed and said. " I think it may be time for someone to leave. I wish it didn't have to come down to that...etc." She'd already told me earlier last week that I was a key player in the office and that I was higher on the totem pole than most of the gals giving me trouble. So even if that person isn't let go, at least I know that the boss is on MY side and all's well that ends well! Plus... I might get a bigger raise b/c Dr. Boyles has been talking me up big time! That would rock! So yes.... I am the pryncess! Now.... on to my review of the SWTC Tofutsies sock yarn. I have color #728. I call it Tequila Sunrise. I'm using it to do my first pair of Jaywalkers. Now, the yarn is beautiful and soft to the touch..... in a ball. It's 50% Superwash Wool, 25% Soysilk Fibers, 22.5% Cotton, and 2.5% Chitin (ground up crab shell). It has a gentle sheen to it and looks very much like Trekking only, ... it's no where near as nice. It knits like it's all cotton. There is very little sproing, ok, there's none. And maybe it's just me, but it has a smell when you knit with it. I can't quite describe it. It almost smells like it's burning. Very weird.


I shot this against some white paper so you could see the colors better but the pic isn't nearly as clear when it's posted as on my screen. Oh well. It has lovely colors and I will finish the socks b/c I'm sure it will wear just fine once it's done. And I'm sure they'll look great in my new shoes!

Aren't they pretty?! They are my fourth pair of Danskos. I absolutely love Dansko shoes. I buy one pair a year when I can. These are my favorites. I have a pair of classic black Professionals. Two pairs of Casey, one white pair for work and one brown pair for casual wear. And these are the Marcelle. Gorgeous! I also finished my Merino Lace socks from the new Interweave 25 Timeless Socks. I had some pictures uploaded but I accidently erased them and now my stupid internet connection is deciding to be a dick and not let me re-load them. I load them tomorrow.

In all honesty.... sometimes it just sucks to be a mom. Like last night, I'm parked a mere thirty meters from the entrance of the building where my Architechtural History class is held. It's raining. Just a light rain. Now, b/c it was supposed to rain all day and I knew I would be able to park close to said class, I left the umbrella with my husband to go get the kids from the sitters without getting wet. As I'm exiting my vehicle to head into class the rain starts to get worse. In about two minutes it went from light rain to monsoon. And I know monsoons, I lived in Panama for six years! By the time I hit the door of the building I am soaked down to the bone. I was wearing the new Baudelairs too. Needless to say I thought it my duty to endure the soaking for the benefit of my children. That was, at least, until this morning when Malachi said to me, "Mom you're fat. I want you to stay home with me. You never stay home with me. You're fat." ............. Damned ingrates.

Beautiful But Boring Blue Baudelaires

Okay, so I finally finished the Baudelaires and now I can do the second Merino Lace sock. I never thought I'd get bitten by the SSS bug but I had a serious case of it with these two pairs of socks. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that neither pattern is easily memorized and therefore I can't just pick them up, nonchalantly knit a row and then go back and do something else. I have to sit down with pattern at my tips and work on them for awhile. They are both very lovely patterns and make very lovely socks however. So here are the pics of my B5s. :



























































Sorry about the casper-like legs..... is o'erinn me (I am of Ireland). One battle with skin cancer is quite enough thank you. On a lighter note... I got my first letter from my Knitterly Letter Swap pal. Her name is Catherine and she's in Colorado Springs. So far, I think we're gonna get along just great. I bought some pretty stationary last week and I'll be sending out a lettert to Catherine and also to my downstream pal Kelly. Kelly's in Florida. So between the three of us, we span the country! It's pretty cool. Ok, and I sound like a complete geek. I'm not. Really. New subject. Welll I'm still the talk 'o the town at work. Ya know, if it wasn't gettin to be "that time" of the month, this crap wouldn't be so upsetting. As it is, I'm getting real sick and tired of being gossiped about for weeks on end whenever I mess up at all (be it a real mess up or just something that's personal like this latest thing). Ok, that's enough for now about that. On a happier note, I've been on a spinning kick lately. I'm finding a lot of comfort in the process and I've been experimenting with different breeds. So far I've spun Romney, Merino, Corriedale, and Blue Face Leicester. Today I picked up Morit Shetland, Jacob, and Merino/Tussah (in the most droolworthy blues ever!) I plan to order some Wensleydale and and maybe some Coopworth or Polworth if I can. I don't have any particular project in mind for the handspun right now. I'm just trying some different drafting and spinning techniques and getting a feel for what I'd like to work with most. Mostly....... I just like pretty wool in pretty colors and as long as I can get my wheel out and going the world is okay, at least for a little while.

Mother Nature likes to @#$% with Ohio

I'm serious. It's friggin snowing outside. In April. If that's not an in-your-face then I don't know what one is. I've never liked Ohio weather but, as the saying goes, if you don't like the weather in Ohio wait five minutes..... it'll change. The first year I was moved (and by moved I mean dragged) here it was October of 1992 and we found ourselves hip-deep in snow. Not too pleasant to a country girl from southwestern Georgia. In my short lifetime I've lived in: Panama (the country, not the city beach), Georgia (twice, and it's still my favorite), North Carolina (comes in very close to Georgia for tops), and Missouri. Do you notice a pattern? Yes, that's right, other than an occasional venture to South Bend, IN to visit the family I had never lived above the Mason-Dixon until my dad moved us here. I had seen snow, but never had to actually deal with it until the blizzard we were moved into. I've long since become used to the snow and since I learned to knit last year I actually have a new appreciation for cooler/cold weather, but I doubt I'll ever be able to get used to freak snowstorms in spring.At least Malachi got to use his Sherwood sweater a couple of times. Actually, I had to pull it off of him to wash it. Am I rambling? I have a migraine right now and I'm starving. Quiesiera pedir un bocadillo y necessito una cerveza. Por favor. Gracias. Okay, I'm done digressing into Spanish. So anyway, to ramble some more, I was listening to LnV and driving to class the other morning and it got to the part where they discussing the roving Lime got called Sweet Alex. It was a Kleenex moment and once they started crying, so did I. It's just been that kind of week at work. I feel so much empathy for Miss Lime. I have literally had to be talked down from resigning at least three times this week. My second job is looking for two full-time people and have been feeling me out to see if I want to come over to them full-time. Honestly, I'm considering it. If I wasn't due to begin my clinicals in the fall (fingers crossed!) I'd be over there in two seconds. See, here's my problem at work. I work in an office full of petty, selfish, insecure, immature women. On top of that, my boss actually LIKES me. She doesn't show me any favoritism, but she doesn't hide that she really does like me. This doesn't sit well with some co-workers. Another point of contention among them is that I don't commiserate with them about how "hard" working in the office is. Because.....well....it isn't. It is by far the easiest job I've had so far. It is physically undemanding and only mildly challenging mentally. Most of them time these women are making mountains out of mouse poop. It's, frankly, ridiculous and I refuse to engage in similar conversation so instead I get the "looks". I also get the looks b/c I: don't talk about my co-workers to my other co-workers (aka, Slumber Party Syndrome), don't talk personally about my patients ( can we say HIPAA violation?), and the worst of all..... I'm usually in a good mood so I don't spend the day whining. (My dad always told me, "Beck, you can't alway change your situation but you can always change your attitude about your situation.") This week it was really hard to keep my chin up. All I wanted to do was cry, or pummel somebody (two specific bodies actually and I'm not quite past that feeling yet so it's good they're not around right now). But,.... it's Good Friday and I do remember the reason for the rememberance of this day and of Easter. I'm no where close to being like Jesus, but at least he loves me and that's good enough for me to not pummel anyone. And now it's time for some pictures!

Today was quite possibly the most beautiful day I've seen in the past six months. Though it rained briefly this morning, once we walked out of church the sun was shining, the wind was gently blowing and the sky was the purest shade of robin's egg that I've ever seen. My husband, my children, and I went to the grocery then after dropping the groceries at home, we all went to the salon where Malachi and I got our hair cuts. My husband was not pleased with my choice of cut but then again, it's not his hair. Usually I have wavy/curly blonde hair down almost to my (large) butt. Now..... I have the same hair that Meg Ryan was sporting in City of Angels. It looks great on me and I might stick with it permanently. He'll get used to it. After the hair cuts we took the boys to the park in town and they played whiled I knitted on Malachi's sweater (which btw, will be done tomorrow...I'll post pictures). When we were finally able to wrench the children away from the playground, we stopped at the local fascist discount store( jk, it was Wal-Mart) where I picked up flower seeds (sweet pea, nasturtium, oriental poppy, and shasta daisies) to start my garden this year. Now, I have to be honest, this will be my very first attempt at a garden b/c I have never been inclined to garden before. I don't know if it was the weather, but some how I got bit by the flower bug this year and I just have to grow something.
Wish me luck, I feel that I'll need it. Now, onto yarn pron:

Puck's Mischief and Fire on the Mountain, STR.

STR, Interlacements Tiny Toes in CO2 & Vegas Brights, and J.Knits in N.Carolina.


My devils, I mean angels. Noah on the left, Malachi on the right (this is before the haircut.)

Another picture of the STR. And last but not least......

My new haircut on my ugly mug. Yes I wear contacts, no they don't change my eyecolor. Those blues are a family trait. So is the hair. Sorry about the close up but honestly, my lips really are that big. I also picked up a couple of new books. I got Cables Untangled, Inspirational Cable Knits, Dyeing to Knit, Color in Spinning, Fabulous Knitting (actually I think the title is slightly different but I don't have the book right in front of me so.... whatever), Stitchionary 2: Cables, and BW Second Treasury. I also finally bought the Rogue pattern and the Twisted Flower pattern. The Rogue will be my reward for getting rid of all the excess fat I'm totin. Ok, well, I think that's enough for now. I have spinning and knitting to do.