Friday, June 29, 2007
There are some days in this life of mine that are just going to suck. Today was one of them. Now, yesterday was a bad day. I woke up with a headache and it steadily got worse as the day went on. It took two ibuprofen and two cups of Tension Tamer to even take the edge off. That was nothing compared to today. I pretty much spent all of today sniffling and crying quietly while going about my daily routine at the demonic playground I call my office. So far it's taken an hour of sock knitting on my lunch and an hour of hear and there hand spindling some merino/tencel to start to make me feel human again instead of like this dark creature with leathery black wings and snakes for hair. I'm not kidding, that place sucks all that is decent and good out of me. I start the day a happy, life loving gal and end it a monster with no goodness left in me and a desire to harm. Tonight my children and husband are watching the TATU at the air force base. They wanted me to go with them. I wanted to go with them. I just couldn't. I've spent the last hour getting my resume together and emailing people who I'd like to give me a reference should I need one. I have to leave that place. If I don't, there's no telling what will happen. I've been staying there out of loyalty and today that loyalty was betrayed. In a most cowardly and malicious way. I'm not a perfect christian, seriously I'm flying just above the fire, but I know when it's time to pray and that's what I've been doing all day and what I'll continue to do until such time as it is answered. Matthew 21:22 says it for me "And whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive."