Sunday, July 06, 2008
So much has been going on in my life that I scarcely know where to begin, if I can even tell it all. First of all, school is rather nutty but going fine so far. I'm in some legal trouble right now that I'm faithful God will stand by me through AND move a mountain or two if need be. I'm having a lot of problems because of it though. Financial, of course, and emotional. I feel like right now everything is somehow related to this business. I have a small ulcer that is probably much bigger by now (at least it feels like it from all the pain I've been having) thanks to the stress. I'm keeping a positive outlook, but sometimes I just want to cry. I feel so overwhelmed and if I didn't have God and my family to turn to I'd probably be in a ditch somewhere. God, I really don't want to go to jail. I really don't want my kids to have to suffer through that. I really don't want to mess up my schooling, and my future. It was a stupid mistake but I've since done all that can be done to correct it so it's in your hands now and there's nothing I can do about it except pray for a miracle. I know I'm a little emotionally on edge right now, so it must seem like everything is more painful, but tonight at work everyone just seems to be feeling hateful and I'm walking away every few minutes so that I don't start crying. I want my babies so I can hold them. I just want to disappear.